News And Politics jokes

What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?

A screwdriver turns in screws, and Clinton screws interns!

Bill Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, but a mixup in the afterlife paperwork sends them to the wrong places: the Pope goes to hell and Bill goes to heaven. After a couple of days they fix this problem and the Pope gets on the escalator to go to heaven and Bill gets on the other to go to hell. The two pass each other on the way and Bill asks, "How bad was it down there?" The Pope says, "Not that bad, kind of hot and noisy, but I am glad to be going up to heaven now. There's one thing up there I have been looking forward to." Bill asks, "What is that?" The Pope replies, "I want to meet the Virgin Mary." Bill, shakes his head sheepishly and whispers to the Pope, "Too late."

Q. Why is Al Gore pissed at JFK Jr.?

A. He didn't like him polluting the water.

My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?" Well, this sounds good to me. It would be true poetic justice:

Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, I suggest we do neither.

Let the Secret Service, Navy Seals, or whomever covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital, and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation.

Then we return "her" to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.