News And Politics jokes

I saw an interview in which an expert on military history said that Saddam Hussein actually has a law degree. He went on to point out that the degree was granted under somewhat unusual circumstances: Saddam Hussein was accompanied by two heavily armed guards into the examination room, and apparently it was felt that there was no need to grade the exam.

Upon hearing this, my first thought was that Saddam had cheated. But the expert quickly pointed out that the incident demonstrates that Saddam really has an excellent understanding of Iraqi law.

Hercules, Snow White and Quasimodo were sitting at a table talking.

Hercules says, "I think I'm the strongest man in the world but it hasn't been proven yet."

Snow White says "I think I'm the fairest lady in the land but it hasn't been proven yet."

Quasie says "I think I'm the ugliest, meanest son of a gun in the world but it hasn't been proven yet."

The next day Hercules and Snow White are sitting at the table.

Hercules says, "It's true I'm the strongest man in the world for God told me so."

Snow White says, "It's true I'm the fairest lady in the land for God told me so."

Just then, Quasi started walking up the road really steamed.

He says, "Guys can you do me a favor? Tell me who the heck is Janet Reno?"

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood, and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win? Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

This should be sung to the tune "A Few of My Favorite Things" from the movie"The Sound of Music"

Blow jobs and land deals in backwater places,
Big Macs and French fries and girls with big faces,
Lots of nice cleavage that makes Willie spring,
These are a few of my favorite things

Susan McDougal and Gennifer Flowers,
Horny young interns who while 'way the hours,
Profits from futures that Hillary brings,
These are a few of my favorite things

When that Jones bites,
When Ken Starr stings,When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad

Beating the draft board and getting elected,
Naming to judgeships some hacks I've selected,
Conspiracy theories that blame the right wing,
These are a few of my favorite things

Golfing with Vernon and suborning perjury,
Falling down drunk that required knee surgery
Stars in the White House who come here to sing,
These are a few of my favorite things

Meeting with Boris and Helmut and Tony,
States of the Union with lots of baloney,
Winning debates and the joy of my flings,
These are a few of my favorite things