Gross jokes

'I'm at the end of my tether doctor, is there anything you can suggest I do?'

So the doctor examines him and after some prodding and tutting finally suggests that he should spend six months in hospital, with his jaws wired shut.

'Well, OK doctor, it sounds drastic, but I guess that's what I need.'

Anyway, six months go by and the dude comes out of hospital, thin as a rake. He goes round to the doctor's to thank him.

'There's only one problem doctor, you see I was so fat beforehand, that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?'

'Hmm, short of pretty comprehensive plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Take your clothes off a moment.'

So the dude strips down. Then, squeezing it all upwards, the doctor ties it in a ball above his head.

'That's all well and good, doc', the dude said, 'but my navel is now in the middle of my forehead.'

The doctor replies, 'Yes, but you should see what you have got for a collar and tie!'

Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!

Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, “It's natural.”

The guy walked by the second girl and asked, “How'd you get such pretty brown hair?”

Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, “It's natural.”

Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, “How'd you get such cool green hair?”

Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, “It's natural.”