Gross jokes

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One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, 'There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.'

After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.

After hesitating, they all did it.

'Next,' the professor said, 'you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.'

a brief visit to the doctor
A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample.

The man was slightly deaf and said, 'What?'

Again, the doctor said, 'I need a blood, urine and feces sample."

The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:

'Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!'

monster valentine
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?

Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.

Boy Monster: Is it still beating?

piano solo
What's brown and on the piano bench?

Beethoven's last movement!

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