Gross jokes

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Gross


what a gasser
 
 
A young man goes home from a war to see his mother in the hills of West Virginia. She has never left the hills and has never seen anything like her son's uniform or gun. He shows his mother both items, then she asks about the grenades on his belt.

He says,"'Well, you pull the pin and throw it."

She still doesn't quite get it, so he decides to demonstrate and throws it into the backyard.

The outhouse blows up and his mother cries, "Son you shouldn't have done that! Your father was in there."

And out crawls his father, all covered in dirt. He looks over at the hole and says, "Good thing I didn't let that off in the house."

the lawyer who was too big to bury
 
 
Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body?

They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.

men with no arms or legs
 
 
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.

On the wall? Art.

On the floor? Matt.

black and white and red all over
 
 
What's black, white, red all over, and doesn't fit through revolving doors?

A nun with a spear through her head.


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