Gross jokes

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Gross


lady at the bar
 
 
There was a lady at a bar. Every time she wanted a drink she would raise her hand. She had very bad armpit hair.

The Bartender was getting really grossed out and told the man sitting at the bar that next time she did that he was not going to give her a drink.

One minute later she said, 'Bartender, Bartender, get me another drink.'

The bartender said no. The man sitting there said, 'Oh give the poor ballerina another drink.'

The bartender said, 'How do you know she is a ballerina?'

The man replied, 'Well anyone that can lift there leg that high must be a ballerina!'

latex gloves
 
 
A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat of cooling water, then dip his hand in it to solidify the latex. The glove was then thrown in a finished products box. The dentist's patient was disgusted by the lack of care taken in making the gloves sanitary. Wanting to keep all the patients he could, the dentist didn't mention how they made condoms.
don't kick the animals, man
 
 
A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."

The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."

Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"

kleenex
 
 
How do you get a Kleenex to dance?

Put a little boogie in it!


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