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smart pills
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, 'What is that?'

'They're smart pills,' said the other boy. 'Eat them and they'll make you smarter.

So he ate them and said, 'These taste like sh*t.'

'See,' said the other boy, 'you're getting smarter already.'

runny noodle
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything.

About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it."

Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained.

"Really, what do you take for that?" she asked.

Ian replied, "Pepper."

bear and toilet
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?

A: Winnie the Pooh!

caution: condom crossing
Why'd the condom cross the road?

He got pissed off!

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