Gross jokes

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Gross


gross, grosser, grossest ii
 
 
What's grosser than gross?
Ten babies in one mail box.

What's grosser than that?
One baby in ten mailboxes.

What's grosser than that?
Biting into a pickle and finding a vein.

What's grosser than that?
A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor.

What's grosser than that?
A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.

yo mama's teeth are so yellow...
 
 
Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, her tonsils have to wear sunglasses.
a small journey through hell
 
 
A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil offers to personally escort the man around so he can choose the section of hell he would like to be in. The first section has everybody being burned constantly and getting a glass of water every 7 hours. The second section has everybody working hard and getting a glass of water every three hours. The last section has everybody kneedeep in crap.

"Well, this doesn't look too bad -- and it beats being burned or working. I'll take the crap."

"Okay," says the devil. "Everybody back on their heads."

the cross-eyed cow
 
 
One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow.

"What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified.

"Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."


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