Gross jokes

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scratchy lottery
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted.

The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them.

The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?”

The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.”

The wife looked disgusted. “Oh please,” she muttered.

“What?” asked the clerk. “Oh nothing,” she answered, “it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing.”

painting a wall
How many men does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw 'em!

rump roastin'
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?

A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!

the last southern virgin
What do you call a 12 year old girl from Louisiana who's a virgin?

Faster than her brothers.

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