Gross jokes

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Gross


carpet
 
 
A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman's home. As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette. Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing. He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet, and figured that he had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it there. Aaron decided rather than to take up the carpet, he would get a hammer and pound it into the ground so no one would know.

When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done.

'Aaron, The carpet lookes wonderful!' she exclaimed. 'Here are your cigarettes; I found them in the kitchen. Oh yes, and by the way, have you seen my gerbil?'

taking out the garbage
 
 
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?

A: One dead person in ten trashcans!

what's black?
 
 
Q: What's black and sits on the roof?

A: A paraplegic after a house fire.

gum
 
 
Why did God give women belly buttons?

For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.


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