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grosser than gross kiss
 
 
What's grosser than gross?

Kissing your grandmother hello and her tounge slips in!

what a gasser
 
 
A young man goes home from a war to see his mother in the hills of West Virginia. She has never left the hills and has never seen anything like her son's uniform or gun. He shows his mother both items, then she asks about the grenades on his belt.

He says,"'Well, you pull the pin and throw it."

She still doesn't quite get it, so he decides to demonstrate and throws it into the backyard.

The outhouse blows up and his mother cries, "Son you shouldn't have done that! Your father was in there."

And out crawls his father, all covered in dirt. He looks over at the hole and says, "Good thing I didn't let that off in the house."

black and white and red all over
 
 
What's black, white, red all over, and doesn't fit through revolving doors?

A nun with a spear through her head.

pickle slicer
 
 
One day a man came home from work and told his wife, "Hon, I had the urge to put my thing in the pickle slicer."

"Oh, my God, you should get some help!" his wife said. The next day he came home.

"Hon, I had that urge again!"

"That's it! After work tomorrow, I'm taking you to a doctor!"

The third day he came home all depressed and said, "Hon, I finally did it."

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"They fired me - and the pickle slicer too."


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