Gross jokes

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Gross


closer to god
 
 
A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical. The doctor ran some tests and said to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?"

And the man answered, "Oh me and God? We have a really tight bond, he's so good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off."

The Doctor was astonished. He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?"

And she said, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"

snot
 
 
When you're neckin' with yer honey
And your nose is kinda runny
You might think it's funny...
But it's not.
two brunettes and a blonde...
 
 
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.

The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."

So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"

And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

hiney bubbles
 
 
What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.

What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.


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