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two middle easterners exchange moronic lies
 
 
A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese guy eating croissants and jam.

Syrian Guy: "Do Lebanese people eat the insides of the croissants?"

Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why? What's wrong with that?"

Syrian Guy: "Well for your information, the insides of the croissants are firstly recycled by the Syrians then sold to the Lebanese. Now as for the jam - do you guys eat jam?"

Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why?"

Syrian Guy: "Well, you know the fruits are firstly peeled, eaten then the peels would be then recycled and then sold to the Lebanese."

Lebanese Guy: "Do Syrians have sex?"

Syrian Guy: "Yes, of course."

Lebanese Guy: "Do you use condoms?"

Syrian Guy: "Of course. Why?"

Lebanese Guy: "Well.. when the Lebanese use condoms they recycle them and sell them to the Syrians."

watch where you step
 
 
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, 'Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
two old ladies
 
 
Two old ladies are at the movies.

"Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off."

"What makes you say that?"

"He's using my hand."

it's not for him, stupid
 
 
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head.

"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."

"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."


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