Gross jokes

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Gross


ex-lax, don't do it
 
 
Why are men like laxatives?

Because they irritate the crap out of you!

three men were in a sauna...
 
 
Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German, and a Pollack.

Suddenly, they heard a beeping noise. The Italian guy pushed a few buttons on his hand and then told the others that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to be paged.

Then, they heard a ring and the German man pushed a button on his hand and put his hand up to his ear and carried a conversation.

After pressing another button on his hand the German man said that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to receive calls.

The Polish man excuses himself to use the bathroom.

He comes back, with a piece of toilet paper trailing from his butt.

The other men laugh and point. The Polish man cranes his neck around to look.

He says, "Wow! I must have gotten a fax!"

there is a navy guy and a marine...
 
 
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."

The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!!!"

church
 
 
One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up.

'Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way 'round the back. There was a box near the front door that said 'For the Sick.'


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