Gross jokes

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four worms and a funeral
 
 
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day:

First worm - dead

Second worm - dead.

Third worm - dead.

Fourth worm - alive.

Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms!

milking it
 
 
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."


 
 
"Teacher, Teacher! I have to go to the bathrom!" Johnny says. "O.K, Johnny," the treacher says,"but first recite the alphabet" "O.K." Johnny says."A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O...Q R S T U V W X Y Z." "You forgot the P" the teacher says. "It's running down my legs!"
glories of old age
 
 
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?

A: A belly button between her boobs.


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