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joke written by and for retards
 
 
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis.

"Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing."

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.

"Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!"

Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

doorprize
 
 
Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush.

'What the hell is this?' he asks the pastor.

'Why, it's a toilet brush.'

'Ooh, I see,' says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working.

'Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper.'

twisted baby joke
 
 
What is more fun that stapeling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off.
must be herbal essences
 
 
One morning, a man got on an elevator on the fourth floor which had a woman already in it. The man looks at the woman and says, "You have the most beautiful hair!" The woman, angrily gets out on the next floor and takes the stairs.

The next day the same man comes on the elevator on the fourth floor and sees the woman again. "Your hair! It looks so smooth and silky!" Furious, the woman gets off the next floor and decides again to take the stairs.

The day after that, the same man and woman end up on the elevator again. "I just really have to say that your hair smells amazing!" The woman looks at the man and at a lost for words, storms out of the elevator.

That day at the office she is appraoched by her boss who sees that she is distressed. "What's the matter?" he asks. "This whole week, you have come to work late and very upset." "Well every day a man, the same man, tells me on the elevator that my hair smells really good," the woman replies. "What's wrong with that?" her boss inquires. Which she yells, "He is a midget!"


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