Gross jokes

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ex-lax, don't do it
Why are men like laxatives?

Because they irritate the crap out of you!

three men were in a sauna...
Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German, and a Pollack.

Suddenly, they heard a beeping noise. The Italian guy pushed a few buttons on his hand and then told the others that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to be paged.

Then, they heard a ring and the German man pushed a button on his hand and put his hand up to his ear and carried a conversation.

After pressing another button on his hand the German man said that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to receive calls.

The Polish man excuses himself to use the bathroom.

He comes back, with a piece of toilet paper trailing from his butt.

The other men laugh and point. The Polish man cranes his neck around to look.

He says, "Wow! I must have gotten a fax!"

two middle easterners exchange moronic lies
A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese guy eating croissants and jam.

Syrian Guy: "Do Lebanese people eat the insides of the croissants?"

Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why? What's wrong with that?"

Syrian Guy: "Well for your information, the insides of the croissants are firstly recycled by the Syrians then sold to the Lebanese. Now as for the jam - do you guys eat jam?"

Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why?"

Syrian Guy: "Well, you know the fruits are firstly peeled, eaten then the peels would be then recycled and then sold to the Lebanese."

Lebanese Guy: "Do Syrians have sex?"

Syrian Guy: "Yes, of course."

Lebanese Guy: "Do you use condoms?"

Syrian Guy: "Of course. Why?"

Lebanese Guy: "Well.. when the Lebanese use condoms they recycle them and sell them to the Syrians."

there is a navy guy and a marine...
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."

The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!!!"

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