Gross jokes

You so ugly, last time you got ass was when your toilet paper broke!

This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything.

About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it."

Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained.

"Really, what do you take for that?" she asked.

Ian replied, "Pepper."

A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The bartender says, 'He isn't here but I can do anything the manger can do for you.' By this time the lady is running her fingers down his face and into his mouth and is letting him suck on her fingers.
She says, 'You're sure he isn't here?'
The bartender says, 'Yes, I'm very sure.'
The lady says, 'Well, I just wanted to tell him there's no toilet paper or soap in the women's restroom.'

What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?

Run 'round and 'round till you're all pooped out!