Gross jokes

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Gross


yo' ass so tight
 
 
Yo' ass so tight, you fart and only dogs can hear it.
blow pop
 
 
You're so gay, you could sit on a lollipop and guess its flavor.
the teacher's gift
 
 
It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box.

The teacher said, I'll bet these are flowers!" The girl replied, "How did you know?"

"Just a lucky guess," she said.

Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, "Just a lucky guess.'"

Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box's corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine. The boy said, "No." She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no.

Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box.

He said happily, "A puppy!"

lady at the bar
 
 
There was a lady at a bar. Every time she wanted a drink she would raise her hand. She had very bad armpit hair.

The Bartender was getting really grossed out and told the man sitting at the bar that next time she did that he was not going to give her a drink.

One minute later she said, 'Bartender, Bartender, get me another drink.'

The bartender said no. The man sitting there said, 'Oh give the poor ballerina another drink.'

The bartender said, 'How do you know she is a ballerina?'

The man replied, 'Well anyone that can lift there leg that high must be a ballerina!'


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