Gross jokes

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Gross


you so ugly
 
 
You so ugly, your mama put you next to a piece of crap and said "Twins!"
bed football
 
 
An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"

His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"

He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."

Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7,7."

The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped his pants! His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"

He said, "Still 7,7. End of quarter switch sides!!!"

hormonally yours
 
 
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

beans & onions: delicious
 
 
What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

Tear gas!


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