Gross jokes

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two brunettes and a blonde...
 
 
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.

The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."

So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"

And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

cannibals
 
 
Two hungry cannibals are walking through the forest when they see a man who had recently passed away.

One cannibal says, "Look at this! You start at the feet and I'll start at the head and we'll meet in the middle."

So the two cannibals start eating.

After a half an hour one stops eating, looks up, and says, "I don't know about you, but this is great! How are you doing?"

The other cannibal answers, "This is great! I'm havin' a ball!"

The other cannibal says, "Hey, no fair! You're eating too fast!"

glories of old age ii
 
 
Q: What did the saggy breast say to the other saggy breast?

A: "We better get our act together or they're going to think were nuts!"

stinkin' proof
 
 
One day, an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog.

When she got to the counter to pay, the cashier said she needed proof that the old lady had a dog because some old people have been known to just eat the animal food themselves. So she went home got her puppy, bought it to the store and purchased the dog food.

One week later, she went to get some cat food. Once again the cashier needed proof that the old lady had a cat. So she went home, got her cat, came back and purchased the cat food.

Two weeks later, the old lady walked in the same market to buy something . She held a bag in front of the cashier and told him to put his fingers in the bag and then smell them. When the cashier did, he said, "It smells like poop!"

The old lady replied, "Can I buy some toilet paper now?"


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