Gross jokes

Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.

After hesitating, they all did it.

'Next,' the professor said, 'you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.'

The man was slightly deaf and said, 'What?'

Again, the doctor said, 'I need a blood, urine and feces sample."

The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:

'Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!'