english, irish & scottish football
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
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"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
farting into the great beyond
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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