Gross jokes

You eat a bowl of cornflakes and then find out that your brother's scab collection is missing.

How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.

How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.

What's more fun then a barrel of monkeys? A barrel of zombie babies.

What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.

What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.

An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"

The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."

The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.

The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"

The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!

During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.

The cat replies, "He is here!' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."