Blonde jokes

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Blonde


st. peter and the blondes
 
 
Three blondes died and are up talking to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question and if you get it I will let you into heaven."

He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

She answers, "Oh, that's that one time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."

St. Peter just shakes his head and says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"

She answers, "Oh, that is the time of year when our family gets together and we all open presents and the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney."

Again St. Peter just shakes his head. He asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"

She says, "Oh that's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb and rolled a rock in front of it."

St. Peter smiles and urges, "Yes... go on..."

The blonde continues, "Then once a year we roll the stone away and he comes out and if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter."

blonde on fire
 
 
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"

The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"

The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"

blonde pregnancy
 
 
What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?

Are you sure it's mine?

blonde and lightbulb
 
 
How many minutes does it take a blonde to screw in a lightbulb?

She doesn't know — she's used to screwing other things.


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