Blonde jokes

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Blonde


death row in women's prison
 
 
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

blonde with chickens
 
 
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.

The man in the car says to her, 'What do you have in the bag?'

The blonde replies: 'I have chickens!'

The man thinks for a moment and says, 'If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?'

The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, 'Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

blonde hits the ground last
 
 
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first?

The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

legs open
 
 
Q: What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg?

A: Nothing -- they've never met.


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