Blonde jokes

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blonde carpenter
 
 
A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called out, 'Hey, you on the street, can you see my ear down there?' The guy on the street picks up an ear saying, 'Is this it?' 'No,' was the reply from the blonde carpenter, 'mine had a pencil behind it.'
blonde minivan tragedy
 
 
Four blondes are driving in a minivan when it goes over a cliff. The tragedy is, the minivan could've held eight blondes.
blonde - detectives
 
 
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.

'Easy,' she replied. 'He only has one eye.'

The chief was stunned. 'He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.

'He only has one ear,' was her answer.

'What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!' He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, 'How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.'

After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, 'He's wearing contact lenses.'

This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, 'How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!'

'Well,' she said, 'he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?'

blonde rolls back the odometer
 
 
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.

"235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"


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