Blonde jokes

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Blonde


legs open
 
 
Q: What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg?

A: Nothing -- they've never met.

blonde's twinkle
 
 
How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?

Shine a flashlight in her ear.

nouveau riche blonde
 
 
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.

Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes. The management apologized and gave her a new car.

Again, after half an hour she came back. The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was. She put in the first gear... sped up... put in second... third... fourth... fifth.... “And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.

blonde secretary's memo to her boss
 
 
TO: Boss
FROM: Blondie
RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K

I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:

Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk

I also changed all the days of each week to:

Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak
We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!

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