Blonde jokes

A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. “How did this happen?” the doctor asked. “Well I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?” “No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”

Three blondes died and are up talking to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question and if you get it I will let you into heaven."

He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

She answers, "Oh, that's that one time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."

St. Peter just shakes his head and says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"

She answers, "Oh, that is the time of year when our family gets together and we all open presents and the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney."

Again St. Peter just shakes his head. He asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"

She says, "Oh that's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb and rolled a rock in front of it."

St. Peter smiles and urges, "Yes... go on..."

The blonde continues, "Then once a year we roll the stone away and he comes out and if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter."

A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless.

'Where have you been?' asked the man.

'I can't believe you left me down there! I couldn't get the tailgate open!'

What is blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette.

A blonde doing cartwheels.