Blonde jokes

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Blonde


fast food blondes
 
 
The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes:

“Parking for drive-through customers only!”

blonde - detectives
 
 
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.

'Easy,' she replied. 'He only has one eye.'

The chief was stunned. 'He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.

'He only has one ear,' was her answer.

'What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!' He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, 'How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.'

After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, 'He's wearing contact lenses.'

This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, 'How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!'

'Well,' she said, 'he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?'

blonde painting a porch
 
 
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

blondog
 
 
Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

From chasing parked cars!


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