Blonde jokes

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Blonde


pop goes the blonde
 
 
A man notices a blonde sucking on the bottom of a Coke can. Curious, he asks her what she's doing.

"Duh! It says for best taste drink by date on the bottom."

comfortable
 
 
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."

you silly blonde. don't you get it?
 
 
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.

"Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside.

"No, but it's okay -- I got the license plate number!"

dead blonde in closet
 
 
Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet?

A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.


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