Blonde jokes

Two blondes are driving down the freeway chugging a few beers when they see a road block ahead with police checking for drunk drivers. The blonde in the passenger seat starts to panic and the driver tells her to calm down and do what she does. She then proceeds to quickly chug the last of the beer in her hand, peel the label off, stick the bottle under the seat and stick the label to her forehead. The second blonde follows along. When they arrive at the road block, the officer looks in and is quite surprised by this spectacle and says, ' Hello ladies. By any chance have you two been drinking tonight?' 'Why no officer, you see, we are on the patch!'

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

What did Santa say to the three blondes on the corner?

"Ho. Ho. Ho."

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, 'I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'

'Why sure,' said the manager, 'we have something that works especially well for that.'

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. 'No, no! A little to the left,' said the other blonde inside the car.