Blonde jokes

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Blonde


blonde kidnapper
 
 
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, 'I've kidnapped you.'

She then wrote a note saying,'I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.' The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, 'How could you do this to a fellow blonde?'

flat blonde
 
 
Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?

So they don't have to pay the flat tax.

legs open
 
 
Q: What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg?

A: Nothing -- they've never met.

she gives great headphone
 
 
A blonde went to go get her haircut wearing pair of headphones. The hairdresser tried to get her to take them off, but the blonde protested.

"You can't take those away from me -- I'll die without them!"

The hairdresser sighed, and tried to explain how difficult it would be to cut her hair with them on, but the blonde wouldn't budge. So she began cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde feel asleep, and the hairdresser figured she could remove the headphones for a few minutes. But shortly thereafter, the blonde collapsed, dead on the floor. The hairdresser, confused, picked up the headphones, which were repeating "Breathe In, Breathe Out."


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