Blonde jokes

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Blonde


blonde gets job
 
 
Q: How did a blonde get a job at a prestigious country club?

A: She told them she was good at handling members.

forest gump
 
 
A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter.

"Welcome!" he says. "Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you must answer my questions correctly to gain entrance."

"Okay," says the blonde.

"Here's your question: name two days of the week that begin with the letter T."

"That's easy. Today and tomorrow!"

"Well, that's not the answer I was thinking of, but I'll give you another question. How many seconds are there in a year?"

"That's easy. Twelve!"

"Twelve?"

"January second, February second, March second--"

"Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well. Okay, one more chance. What's God's name?"

"That's easy. Howard!"

"Howard?"

"You know -- 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name..."

blonde and pizza
 
 
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, 'Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.'
wanted: dead or alive
 
 
An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.

"If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?"

"I'd have to say the living one."


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