Blonde jokes

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Blonde


blonde lumberjack
 
 
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job.

"Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.

She came back sweating like a pig. 'Christ, how many trees did you cut down?' asked the foreman.

'6' she replied.

'What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.' The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted.

'How many this time?' asked the foreman.

'12' she said.

The foreman says, 'That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning.'
The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, 'This is how to cut down trees really quickly.' He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her what's wrong. She replies, 'What the hell is that?'

half-brainiac
 
 
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

Gifted!

blonde carpenter
 
 
A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called out, 'Hey, you on the street, can you see my ear down there?' The guy on the street picks up an ear saying, 'Is this it?' 'No,' was the reply from the blonde carpenter, 'mine had a pencil behind it.'
not going to try this again
 
 
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.


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