Blonde jokes

A blonde decides she wants to go ice fishing. So she goes to the library and reads and researches ice fishing. Then she goes to the sporting goods store and buys everything she needs.

Then she finally thinks she is ready so she goes out to the ice and starts drilling a hole. Suddenly she hears a voice from up above. It says: "There are no fish under the ice."

So she decides to go farther down on the ice. She starts drilling and she hears the voice again: "There are no fish under the ice."

So she packs up her things and moves down the ice again. She starts drilling and she hears the voice again, "There are no fish under the ice."

"Is that you Lord?" she says.

"No," says the voice, "I'm the manager of the ice hockey rink."

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?

A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from the Devil -- if they can stump him, they're free to go to heaven instead. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question -- to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well -- but the Devil instantly gets the answer. When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it. She then sits down in the chair and farts.

"Now," she says, "which hole did the fart come out of?"

"That's easy," says the Devil. "All of them."

"No, stupid! It came out of my butthole!"

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.