Sexuality jokes

So they won't hump your leg at a cocktail party.

One day the guy asks Tyra to dress in his clothes and meet him on the other side of the island. Tyra is taken aback by the request, but eventually decides there is no harm in it and agrees. She waits for him on the beach, and he soon arrives. He runs up to her, breathless and excited.

"You'll never believe who I have been screwing!"

The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, 'Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, 'I know how to make them larger!'

'How!?!?!?' she asks.

'Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.'

'Well how long does it take?' she asks.

'They should expand over the years,' he answers.

'How did you know that?' she wonders.

'I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'

The other lady said, 'No you don't, i have some cigarette covers here.'

She proceeded to take a trojan out of her purse, cut the end off and put it over her cigarette. The other lady asked, 'Where did you get that?'

The second lady replied, 'Just go to the drug store and ask for some condoms.'

The next day the first lady went to her local drug store and said to the clerk,'I'd like some condoms please.'

The clerk replied,'What size please?'

The lady said, 'One big enough to fit a Camel.'