Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


getting old
 
 
There was a man who really took care of his body. One day he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except for his penis. So he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach and got completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out.

Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking up out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other lady, 'There is no justice in this world.' The other lady asked what she meant.

"Well, when I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot all about it. Now I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat!"

good, bad, worse
 
 
Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.

Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The techer is a he.

Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: you get caught by your wife
Worse: You're with her sister.

perry coma
 
 
When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After about 15 minutes the husband came out of her room and announced that she was dead!

"How did that happen?" asked the doctor.

"I think she choked to death," said the husband.

we're talking small
 
 
What are three two-letter words that mean small?

"Is it in?"


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