that's a woman's job
One day, Farmer Brown went behind his barn and found to his dismay that his son, Jeb, was jerking off. He vowed to his son that he was going to help him find a wife, so he would not have to be doing this.
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Sure enough, the father was able to find a suitable bride just right down the road and the couple was married shortly thereafter. Six weeks later the farmer was again going behind the barn and caught his son vigorously jerking off. The farmer went berzerk.
"Why are you still doing this, why aren't you with your wife?"
"Aw Paw," said the son, "Her little old arm gets so tired."
what's your poison?
Once there lived a mother who had two sons who were very young. The mother only gave milk to one son and neglected the other son.
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The milkless son decided to apply poison on his mother's breast so that the other son would get killed.
When he woke up the next morning he found that his father had died.
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