Sexuality jokes

Yo mama is so stupid she put a phone in her butt and thought she was making a booty call.

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the Englishman remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided to go and check his mail. The next thing he knows, a beautiful woman is standing in front of him and she has a robe on and she opens it and the man notices she has nothing on underneath. He tries to keep eye contact with the girl while she is talking to him. All of a sudden she says, “I hear someone coming, let's go in my apartment.
When they get in to her apartment, she lets her robe fall to the ground and asks the man, “Which part of my body do you like the best?” The guy replies, “Your ears.”
So she gets mad and asks, “Why my ears!? Look at this body! It's perfect! Look at these breasts -- they're real and they're mine! Look at this butt -- it's hard and firm! So why my ears?” The guy says, “Well, because the person you heard coming was me!”

10. Wanna come play on my slip and slide?

9. If you were a naval captain, would you let me inspect your seamen?

8. This bra is so tight its uncomfortable.

7. You must know a good rain dance, cuz you're making me wet.

6. Excuse me my lipstick rolled underneath your seat, mind if I get under you?

5. I was thinking of volunteering at the fire department, could I practice sliding down your pole?

4. How many licks does it take to get to the center of your tootsie pop?

3. Stick it in!!

2. Either I just spilled my drink in my lap or I'm really happy to see you.

1. Your face reminds me of a La-Z –Boy, I could sit on it all day long!