Sexuality jokes

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, her husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat the husband says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

A man was walking through the forest, when he suddenly has an urge to take a piss. He came upon a field of buttercups. Thinking no one was looking, he immediately relieved himself all over the buttercups. Unbeknownst to him, Mother Nature saw the whole thing and became furious. "How dare you!", she cried, "Just for that, you won't get any butter for a whole year!" "Oh Mother Nature!", the man cried, "In that case, thank God I didn't piss all over the pussywillows!"

A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"

A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket. "I've lost my girlfriend," he tells her. "Can you stand here and talk to me for a few minutes?" "Sure, but I don't understand how that would help," she replies. "Well, every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my girlfriend appears out of nowhere."