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Sexuality


bill gates' hard drive
 
 
Did you hear that Bill Gates bought the world-wide rights to Viagra?

He's renaming it MICROHARD.

elementary, my dear jerkface
 
 
Sherlock Holmes and Watson were walking through a park, when they passed three women, eating bananas.

"Good evening, ladies," said Sherlock. After they passed, Watson asked if he knew those women.

"No, Watson, I didn't know that nun, prostitute, or bride." Baffled, Watson asks how he knew their identities.

"Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun was eating the banana by breaking it into small pieces. The prostitute was shoving the banana into her mouth. And the bride was holding the banana with one hand and forcing her head down with the other."

rent
 
 
A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute. When it was over she told him to pay $500. He said he'd send it to her in an envelope marked 'Rent for Apartment.' The next day, however, he regretted that he spent the night with her and sent only $250. When she wrote him a letter asking why he didn't pay full price, he wrote her a memo saying:
1. I thought the apartment had not been used before.
2. It did not have adequate heating.
3. It was too large to properly furnish.

A few days later the prostitute sent him another letter saying:
1. You should have known the apartment had been rented previously.
2. The apartment did have adequate heating. You just didn't know how to turn it on.
3. The apartment was the perfect size. You just didn't have large enough furniture to fill it.

inner space
 
 
What has three balls and comes from outer space?

E.T., the Extra-Testicle!


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