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Sexuality


two old ladies burning rubber
 
 
Two old ladies were standing on a street corner smoking cigarettes. It started to rain and one lady said, 'Great, now I'll have to put this out.'

The other lady said, 'No you don't, i have some cigarette covers here.'

She proceeded to take a trojan out of her purse, cut the end off and put it over her cigarette. The other lady asked, 'Where did you get that?'

The second lady replied, 'Just go to the drug store and ask for some condoms.'

The next day the first lady went to her local drug store and said to the clerk,'I'd like some condoms please.'

The clerk replied,'What size please?'

The lady said, 'One big enough to fit a Camel.'

let's live on love
 
 
A couple decides to get married, despite the fact that the woman doesn't know how to cook at all. After all, he says, they can live on love. After the honeymoon is over, the man goes back to work. One day, he calls from work and asks if his new wife could make some dinner. Knowing full well that she doesn't cook, she asks if they can make love instead. The man agrees, and soon arrives home to find his wife sliding repeatedly down the bannister.

"What are you doing?" he asks, concerned.

"Oh, silly," she says. "I'm warming up your dinner!"

sex and bridge
 
 
Q. How is sex like bridge?

A.If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand!

act of god
 
 
The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expenses. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister.

Finally, the minister stood up and shouted "Having children is an Act of God!"

An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"


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