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"Jack, the baker Bob found his wife in bed with another man last night! He shot the man and then himself! Isn't that terrible?"
"Sure, it's terrible, but it could've been worse!"
"How could THAT possibly have been worse?"
"Well, if it had been the night before I would've been dead!"
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"See if they fit."
"They don't."
"Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She thought a little while, and took off her panties and asked him to try them on.
"I can't get into these."
"And you won't, either, with that attitude."
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A screwdriver turns in screws, and Clinton screws interns!
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After 24 hours, the priest calls the nuns back in and asks what they did. The first nun says, 'I had sex with two men at one time.'
The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.' The second nun tells the priest, 'I robbed a bank for $25,000.'
The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.'
The third nun tells the priest, 'I killed a woman that I have wanted dead all my life.'
The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.'
The priest said to the fourth nun, 'Okay, what sin did you commit.'
The fourth nun says, 'I pissed in the holy water.'
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