Sexuality jokes

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.

'Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before.'

The doctor reassured her, 'A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?'

'On my testicles, which is something else I want to talk to you about...,' replied the lady.

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow.

"What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified.

"Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul-up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil who acknowledged the error. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem. The next day, the Pope was sent off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down. They stopped to chat.

"Sorry about the mix-up" said the Pope. "Though I'm really excited about going to heaven."

"Why's that?"

"I've always wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."

"You're about a day late."

Q: What is the mating call of a blonde?

A: "I'm soooo drunk."