Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


animal house
 
 
Q: How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?

A: 10 little piggies, one ass, two calves, one pussy, and some crabs on hares.

close but no cigar
 
 
A guy's been dating the girl of his dreams for several months, but he's been holding back his sexual advances because he's worried she'll notice his smaller-than-average penis. One night they're in his car, and he decides to finally make his move. After kissing for a while, he opens his zipper and guides her hand into his pants. "No, thanks," moans the girl. "You know I don't smoke."
meat department
 
 
A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket. "I've lost my girlfriend," he tells her. "Can you stand here and talk to me for a few minutes?" "Sure, but I don't understand how that would help," she replies. "Well, every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my girlfriend appears out of nowhere."
bedside confession
 
 
Ted and Julie go to bed with one another for the first time.

Julie: I think I should warn you Ted, I've got acute angina

Ted: You're breasts aren't bad either.


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