Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


silent bunny humping
 
 
Why don't rabbits make noise when they're making love?

Because they have cotton balls!

pleasure vs. disgrace
 
 
The dean of a women's college, addressing her charges, concluded, "...and remember, young ladies, you represent not only your own honor but that of the school. When approached by young men, ask yourself: Is an hour's pleasure worth a lifetime of disgrace? Now, are there any questions?"

A young lady immediately raised her hand and said, "Tell me, how do you make it last an hour?"

male translations
 
 
"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.

"I'm not used to these darts."
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.

"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We won't be here long enough to get another round.

"I'll get this one, next one is on you."
--Happy hour is about to end...now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

"Lets get out of here."
--I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.

"Can I get a glass of white zinfindel?"
--I'm gay.

"Ever try a body shot?" (Male to female)
--I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

"I've had like 10 beers already."
--I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.

"Who's got the next round?"
--I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

"Excuse Me." (male to female)
--I am going to grope you now.

"I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning."
--I owe that guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding him since football season.

"What do you have on tap?"
--What's cheap?

"Can I just get a glass of water?"
--It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking 1/2 hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, so it's the least you can do for me.

clinton/elian gonzales
 
 
Why is Clinton having such a hard time deciding what to do with Elian Gonzalez?

Because the last time he decided where to put a Cuban he was almost impeached.


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