"Oh no, it's my husband, he must have forgotten something."
The woman went downstairs, and the man jumped out of the window before he was seen. He was totally starkers, so hid behind a bush. About an hour later, a nudist group ran by, doing a marathon. He quickly jumped up, and joined them.
After a while, he got talking to one of them, "So how long have you been a nudist?" a man asked him.
"Not long" he replied "what about that?" the other man said to him, pointing to the condom the man was wearing.
"Oh, it was raining when I came out" the man replied.
Further down the corridor he came to a machine that said, 'For the best shave every insert here', so he inserted his money in and place his face in the slot. And sure enough his face had the best shave he had ever had.
He walked on down the corridor until he came to the last machine. It said 'for the man who has been away from his wife for a long time and is in dire need.. The rest of the words were rubbed of but he got the general idea. He made sure no one was looking and inserted his money, undid his fly and placed his 'thing' in the hole. The machine rumbled and after a few minutes of extreme pain he withdrew his thing from the hole with a new shiny button neatly sewed on the end.
While they were sitting on the bed making out, the female egg pushed the male egg away and said, "I just have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute." and off she went.
Five minutes later, the male egg saw his sexy wife walk out in a slinky egglige, wiping her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
The female egg looked at him and asked what he was doing.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon!"
Bob replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"
So James stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.
James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"
Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"
Page 259 of 265 «« Previous | Next »»