Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


riding in cars with boys
 
 
Three boys were sitting on some steps watching cars go by. They see a Cadillac Escalade drive by and the first boy says, "I wish i could have that Cadillac. The second boy says, "I wish I could have that Lincoln Navigator behind it. The third boy says, "i wish my whole body was covered in curly hair because my sister has a small patch between her legs and that is how she got both of those cars.
must be herbal essences
 
 
One morning, a man got on an elevator on the fourth floor which had a woman already in it. The man looks at the woman and says, "You have the most beautiful hair!" The woman, angrily gets out on the next floor and takes the stairs.

The next day the same man comes on the elevator on the fourth floor and sees the woman again. "Your hair! It looks so smooth and silky!" Furious, the woman gets off the next floor and decides again to take the stairs.

The day after that, the same man and woman end up on the elevator again. "I just really have to say that your hair smells amazing!" The woman looks at the man and at a lost for words, storms out of the elevator.

That day at the office she is appraoched by her boss who sees that she is distressed. "What's the matter?" he asks. "This whole week, you have come to work late and very upset." "Well every day a man, the same man, tells me on the elevator that my hair smells really good," the woman replies. "What's wrong with that?" her boss inquires. Which she yells, "He is a midget!"

bubba hump
 
 
A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn't possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba, "Just what the hell is your secret?" Bubba replied, "Well, coach, whenever I'm about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw 'em forever!" The coach went home early that day and went straight to the bedroom. He heard his wife in the shower and, seeing a window of opportunity, tore off his clothes and started banging his penis on the dresser. His wife immediately stuck her head out of the shower and said, "Is that you, Bubba?"
peanut in your ear
 
 
One evening, a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them with his mouth. In the middle of catching a peanut, his wife asked him a question. As he turned to answer her, the peanut fell into his ear. He tried and tried to dig the peanut out, but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper into his ear.

He called his wife for assistance, and after several hours of trying to remove the peanut, they became concerned and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of their problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down. The young man then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father.

"That's wonderful. He's so smart! I wonder what he's gonna be when he grows up!"

"From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law."


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