bar: guy and a picture of a hottie
This guy, about 40, walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he pulls out a picture of a beautiful girl, about 20. He orders drink after drink after drink. Finally, the bartender asks why he's getting drunk
"I have to come home to this!' the guy says, pointing to the picture of the beautiful girl.
"What's wrong with her?' asks the bartender. 'She's beautiful and half your age!'
'Exactly. That's my daughter.'
"I have to come home to this!' the guy says, pointing to the picture of the beautiful girl.
"What's wrong with her?' asks the bartender. 'She's beautiful and half your age!'
'Exactly. That's my daughter.'
whack off
There was this guy named John that went to heaven. He looked around and saw millions of clocks, some were slow and some were fast. He went to God to ask a question.
'What's the deal with all these clocks?' John asked.
'Well,' said God, 'these clocks tell how much a person masturbates.'
'Well, where's my clock?' asked John.
'It's in the office,' replied God. 'We use it as a fan.'
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