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Sexuality


the dynamite kid
 
 
There were these two people in a bar, a boy and a girl. They started talking and decided to go back to the guy's house. When they got there the man took off his shirt and said, 'This is 1,000 pounds of dynamite.'
The girl was sweating.
Then he took off his pants and said, 'This is another 1,000 pounds of dynamite.'
By now, the girl wanted to jump on him. Then he took off his boxers and the girl started to run for the door.
The guy asked, 'Whats wrong? Where are you going?'
The girl said 'With 2,000 pounds fo dynamite and such a short fuse, I thought you were going to blow.'
dad eats lightbulbs
 
 
Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs.

"How do you know that?" asks his teacher.

"I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said 'I'll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.'"

gorilla control
 
 
A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun.

"Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in the balls until he's incapacitated."

"Great," says the man. "But what's the gun for?"

"In case I fall down instead of the gorilla -- shoot the dog."
the raffle
 
 
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."

The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."

The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."


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