Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


the doctor's convention
 
 
There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night. A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner.

After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room.

'Sure,' the woman says. 'Let me go wash my hands first.'

After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she washes her hands again.

This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, 'You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.'

Angry at this remark, the woman says, 'Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!'

lepechaun at augusta
 
 
One day, a man was golfing when he hit his ball into the woods. When he went to retrieve it, he found that it had hit a small man in green tights.

"I'm so sorry!" the man said.

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, you caught me. I'm a leprechaun and you have managed to stop me. You get three wishes."

"Oh, no, I don't want the wishes. Just as long as you're okay." The leprechaun thought the man was so nice he decided to grant three wishes for him. He gave him unlimited money, terrific health, and a great sex life. The man came back to the golf course the next year and recognized that same leprechaun.

"How're you doing?" asked the leprechaun.

"Oh, terrific. Everytime I stick my hand in my pocket a 100 dollar bill comes out and I've eaten nothing but Snickers bars for a year and I'm at my ideal weight and can run a mile faster than anyone."

"How's your sex life?" asked the leprechaun.

"Fantastic! I'm up to twice a week now!"

"Twice a week? Why so little? I gave you a great sex life wish!"

"Hey, it's not bad for a priest!"

lucky frog
 
 
I decided to take a day off from work and go golfing. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, 'Ribbit. Nine iron.'

That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a nine iron, and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazing! So I picked up the frog and headed to the fifth hole. I asked the frog what club to used and it said, 'Ribbit. Three wood.' I used that club and sunk another hole-in-one! I continued an amazing round of golf. At the end, I asked the frog where we should go next. 'Ribbit. Vegas.'

So we went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. 'Ribbit. Roulette.'

So we went up to the roulette table, and I asked the frog how much I should wager. 'Ribbit. Three thousand dollars.'

It was a lot of money, but I ponied up anyway. Needless to say, I won big! I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. Once we were up there, I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. 'Ribbit. Kiss me.'

I figured, what the hell, it's just a frog. So I kissed the frog, and it turned into a 15-year old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, and if I'm lying, my name's not William Jefferson Clinton.

little johnny's wish
 
 
Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"

The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"


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